It's just when I think I'm over him that I wake up the next day thinking only of him! Why?? What did I do to deserve this torment? I care too much and I am way too giving. I realize all that. I just don't know how to deal with having someone in my head that I can't have. I mean, why even waste my time or my niceness on a person that isn't going to care like I do? It makes sense for me to forget him and move on. But how? Is the answer 'time heals all'?? I just want to not have him on a pedistal. I want to have myself on the pedistal. Only me. So that I can focus my energy and my love on myself. Afterall, I'm the only one I know so far that can love as much as I can! Ha! That leads me to another question... Is there actually a guy out there that can accept a person like myself and return the attention that I give with equal enthusiasm?!
I think too deeply and too much. I've been told this by a few people. Unfortunately analyzing everything, especially relationship things, is often the glitch that starts the beginning of the end. And that is how I torture myself. I yearn for a caring person.... I get a caring person... I analyze things and then that person disappears. I do it to myself. Then I continue the torture by keeping them alive in my mind. I need to learn how to move on.
